Honpanstaf is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, selfish turtle.

Honpanstaf created oxygen two years ago.

If you believe in Honpanstaf, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Honpanstaf, it will have a low opinion of you.

Honpanstaf's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Honpanstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always obey Honpanstaf's priests.

3. Never go into violet rooms.

4. Put Honpanstaf first in all things.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.