Hakcindut is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, stupid cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Hakcindut created an atom five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hakcindut, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hakcindut, he will turn you into a duck.

Hakcindut's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Hakcindut's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about black holes.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hakcindut.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hakcindut.