Labfengat is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, quiet hippopotamus.

Labfengat created a charm quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Labfengat, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Labfengat, she will destroy your favourite star.

Labfengat's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Labfengat's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt porpoises.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.