Nartyarpdab is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, unthinking cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Nartyarpdab created the planet Venus five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartyarpdab, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Nartyarpdab, she will try to impress you with trees.

Nartyarpdab's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Nartyarpdab's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in holy places.

2. Erect nine silver sculptures of Nartyarpdab on top of important buildings.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never hurt doves.