Wapjincebnull is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, happy hydra.

Wapjincebnull created carbon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Wapjincebnull, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Wapjincebnull, it will turn you into a plant.

Wapjincebnull's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Wapjincebnull's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not dye your hair mauve.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Wapjincebnull loves voles, so they must be honoured.