Pontafapp is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, dishonest hyena.

Pontafapp created gold eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pontafapp, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Pontafapp, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Pontafapp's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Pontafapp's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never go into turquoise rooms.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Erect a large gold sculpture of Pontafapp on top of all buildings.