Larpyakaf is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, ill-tempered skunk.

Larpyakaf created the universe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Larpyakaf, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Larpyakaf, it will turn you into a frog.

Larpyakaf's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Larpyakaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear pink trousers.

2. Never laugh in holy places.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not make images of living things.