Tettistafceb is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, stupid cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Tettistafceb created a bottom quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tettistafceb, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tettistafceb, he will turn you into a duck.

Tettistafceb's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Tettistafceb's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not covet oxen.