Dunjatbell Jarnpigflaploplagxentit is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, bad-tempered coyote.

Dunjatbell Jarnpigflaploplagxentit created an up quark two years ago.

If you believe in Dunjatbell Jarnpigflaploplagxentit, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dunjatbell Jarnpigflaploplagxentit, he will try to impress you with trees.

Dunjatbell Jarnpigflaploplagxentit's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Dunjatbell Jarnpigflaploplagxentit's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.