Parknarlflag is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, amazing bear.

Parknarlflag created Asia seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Parknarlflag, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Parknarlflag, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Parknarlflag's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Parknarlflag's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

3. Never think about comets.

4. You must pray to Parknarlflag six times a day.

5. Run away from turquoise rats, for they are unholy.