Tamwatxenbonk is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, merciless centaur.

Tamwatxenbonk created water four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tamwatxenbonk, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tamwatxenbonk, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Tamwatxenbonk's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Tamwatxenbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never sit in holy places.

3. Never mention birds.

4. Tamwatxenbonk loves goats, so they must be respected.

5. Put Tamwatxenbonk first in all things.