Stragjapved Himyamdan is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, resourceful hare.

Stragjapved Himyamdan created tapeworms eight million years ago.

If you believe in Stragjapved Himyamdan, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Stragjapved Himyamdan, he will not care.

Stragjapved Himyamdan's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Stragjapved Himyamdan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. You must love Stragjapved Himyamdan.

3. You must never eat peanuts.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never jump in holy places.