Bestbonbess is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, unfair hydra.

Bestbonbess created the world seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bestbonbess, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bestbonbess, she will make you grow a tail.

Bestbonbess' most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Bestbonbess' Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never think ill of sick swans.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Put Bestbonbess first in all things.

5. Do not take Bestbonbess' name in vain.