Haplistbodvin is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, calm lizard.

Haplistbodvin created the Cigar Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Haplistbodvin, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Haplistbodvin, it will destroy your home solar system.

Haplistbodvin's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Haplistbodvin's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured doves.

2. Always treat grasshopers with great respect.

3. Haplistbodvin must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.