Padpogpag is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, staggering spider.

Padpogpag created a quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Padpogpag, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Padpogpag, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Padpogpag's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Padpogpag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. You must love Padpogpag.

4. Run away if nine moths approach from the north.

5. Do not kill ducks.