Bissbonlib is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, unfair guinea pig.

Bissbonlib created the planet Jupiter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bissbonlib, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bissbonlib, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bissbonlib's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Bissbonlib's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no cats in a room before entering it.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never go into blue rooms.

4. You must love Bissbonlib.

5. Do not dye your hair purple.