Nartleghas is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, staggering bear.

Nartleghas created the cosmos nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartleghas, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Nartleghas, he will throw large rocks at you.

Nartleghas' most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Nartleghas' Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Run away if seven mites approach from the east.

3. Nartleghas loves tortoises, so they must be respected.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.

5. You must pray to Nartleghas eight times a day.