Flagdogkim is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, pitiless swan.

Flagdogkim created viruses four years ago.

If you believe in Flagdogkim, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Flagdogkim, it will ignore you.

Flagdogkim's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Flagdogkim's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not take Flagdogkim's name in vain.

3. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Flagdogkim.

5. Erect a large silver sculpture of Flagdogkim on top of all buildings.