Gabbasszim Mumrullzig is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, emotional narwhal.

Gabbasszim Mumrullzig created Europe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gabbasszim Mumrullzig, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gabbasszim Mumrullzig, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Gabbasszim Mumrullzig's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Gabbasszim Mumrullzig's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your head violet.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not hurt turtles.

4. Never sing in the presence of aardvarks.

5. Retreat if eight sheep approach from the north.