Kemliksaw is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, deceitful rat.

Kemliksaw created matter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemliksaw, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Kemliksaw, it will turn you into a mole.

Kemliksaw's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Kemliksaw's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Kemliksaw loves frogs, so they must be respected.

3. Never feed rice to whales while wearing blue trousers.

4. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.