Bonkdutban is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, selfish mole.

Bonkdutban created tapeworms four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkdutban, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bonkdutban, he will turn you into a sheep.

Bonkdutban's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Bonkdutban's Holy Commandments

1. Whales are not to be trusted.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Never talk about black holes.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Bonkdutban must be the most important thing in your life.