Tifparkvigcad is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, benevolent tapir.

Tifparkvigcad created the cosmos three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tifparkvigcad, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tifparkvigcad, it will turn you into a duck.

Tifparkvigcad's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Tifparkvigcad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never write about dark energy.

4. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.