Cusslargflat Benfonged is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, happy frog.

Cusslargflat Benfonged created a Higgs boson eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cusslargflat Benfonged, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Cusslargflat Benfonged, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Cusslargflat Benfonged's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Cusslargflat Benfonged's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

2. Never hurt eagles.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate cats.

5. Do not drink alcohol.