Vadtuning is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, merciless manatee.

Vadtuning created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vadtuning, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vadtuning, she will boil you in a big pot.

Vadtuning's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Vadtuning's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never feed lots of bread to tapirs while wearing blue shoes.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not take Vadtuning's name in vain.