Zogjarnpas is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, almighty elephant.

Zogjarnpas created parasitic wasps three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zogjarnpas, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Zogjarnpas, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Zogjarnpas' most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Zogjarnpas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

2. Hide from gray tapirs for they are unholy.

3. Never paint your neck mauve.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always stare at clouds.