Tadbutbep is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, wise shark.

Tadbutbep created the solar system seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tadbutbep, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tadbutbep, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Tadbutbep's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Tadbutbep's Holy Commandments

1. Tadbutbep loves tortoises, so they must be respected.

2. Do not speak about onions.

3. Never feed rice to badgers while wearing rings.

4. Never think about optics near capybaras while wearing violet dresses and balancing four gold spheres on your arms.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.