Cublegvonk is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, merciless monkey.

Cublegvonk created the planet Earth six billion years ago.

If you believe in Cublegvonk, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cublegvonk, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Cublegvonk's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Cublegvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Worship no other gods but Cublegvonk.

3. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in black.

4. Always make sure there are no eagles in a building before entering it.

5. You must pray to Cublegvonk seven times a day.