Fligjatpang is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unthinking hamster.

Fligjatpang created tapeworms seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fligjatpang, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fligjatpang, it will turn you into a dog.

Fligjatpang's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Fligjatpang's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not take Fligjatpang's name in vain.