Cumteennul is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, all-powerful weasel.

Cumteennul created Africa nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cumteennul, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cumteennul, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Cumteennul's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Cumteennul's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always help sick otters.

3. Always obey Cumteennul's priests.

4. You must pray to Cumteennul four times a day.

5. Never think ill of sick squirrels.