Lappidbessflowcit is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, emotional hummingbird.

Lappidbessflowcit created tapeworms seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lappidbessflowcit, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Lappidbessflowcit, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Lappidbessflowcit's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Lappidbessflowcit's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant mauve sculpture of Lappidbessflowcit in the centre of the settlement.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.

4. Lappidbessflowcit loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.

5. Erect nine aluminium sculptures of Lappidbessflowcit on top of important buildings.