Geplamlag is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, contented hedgehog.

Geplamlag created life nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Geplamlag, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Geplamlag, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Geplamlag's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Geplamlag's Holy Commandments

1. Geplamlag loves horses, so they must be respected.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not dye your hair brown.

4. Never talk about dark matter near gulls while wearing black shoes.

5. Never look in ponds.