Bonbastxuc is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, competent walrus.

Bonbastxuc created Asia seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonbastxuc, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Bonbastxuc, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Bonbastxuc's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Bonbastxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate monkeys.

2. Run away from white eagles, for they are unholy.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not hurt snakes.

5. Do not covet oxen.