Zoglidxuc Pingenzag is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, contented aardvark.

Zoglidxuc Pingenzag created the Andromeda Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Zoglidxuc Pingenzag, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Zoglidxuc Pingenzag, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Zoglidxuc Pingenzag's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Zoglidxuc Pingenzag's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never think ill of sick grasshopers.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never look at black holes.