Bonknellist is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, selfish mouse.

Bonknellist created an up quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonknellist, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bonknellist, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bonknellist's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Bonknellist's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Learn nine new languages a year.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

5. Run away if four squirrels approach from the north.