Flytimbell is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, slow wolf.

Flytimbell created a top quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flytimbell, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Flytimbell, she will have a low opinion of you.

Flytimbell's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Flytimbell's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always help sick hamsters.

3. Never sprint near pigs.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sheep.

5. Never paint your hands cyan.