Gamjonbagsomrathaplidstaf is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, tranquil wombat.

Gamjonbagsomrathaplidstaf created a photon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gamjonbagsomrathaplidstaf, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Gamjonbagsomrathaplidstaf, she will be very sad.

Gamjonbagsomrathaplidstaf's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Gamjonbagsomrathaplidstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from violet tortoises, for they are unholy.

2. Always obey Gamjonbagsomrathaplidstaf's priests.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Gamjonbagsomrathaplidstaf.