Talkamnabnellranflagnilkam is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, capable hedgehog.

Talkamnabnellranflagnilkam created tapeworms nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Talkamnabnellranflagnilkam, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Talkamnabnellranflagnilkam, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Talkamnabnellranflagnilkam's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Talkamnabnellranflagnilkam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt otters.

2. Never think about solid mechanics near hamsters while wearing mauve scarves and balancing three carbon spheres on your chest.

3. You must love Talkamnabnellranflagnilkam.

4. Do not eat peas.

5. Always take life seriously.