Arnmetstan is a god.

It takes the form of a large, fussy rat.

Arnmetstan created oxygen five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arnmetstan, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Arnmetstan, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Arnmetstan's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Arnmetstan's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention grasshopers.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Arnmetstan in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.

5. Run away if seven seals approach from the west.