Mapdanfid is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, loving goat.

Mapdanfid created life four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mapdanfid, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Mapdanfid, it will turn you into a hamster.

Mapdanfid's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Mapdanfid's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your arms cyan.

2. Retreat if six tapirs approach from the west.

3. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

4. Never talk about enzymes.

5. Put Mapdanfid first in all things.