Butquaffen is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, witless warg.

Butquaffen created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Butquaffen, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Butquaffen, it will turn you into a mole.

Butquaffen's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Butquaffen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Whales are not to be trusted.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Always help mites.