Fomdaglistbam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, egotistical seal.

Fomdaglistbam created a top quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fomdaglistbam, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fomdaglistbam, it will turn you into a snail.

Fomdaglistbam's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Fomdaglistbam's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a building before entering it.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.

5. Erect a large iron sculpture of Fomdaglistbam on top of all buildings.