Kikhiv is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, narcissistic centaur.

Kikhiv created the solar system seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kikhiv, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kikhiv, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Kikhiv's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Kikhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate swans.

2. Hide from purple capybaras for they are unholy.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not wear iron on your body.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.