Vagpogsag is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, loving cat.

Vagpogsag created matter two million years ago.

If you believe in Vagpogsag, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Vagpogsag, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Vagpogsag's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Vagpogsag's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of apples to bats while wearing mauve dresses.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. You must pray to Vagpogsag four times a day.

4. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

5. Pray towards the west.