Flabtigpom is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, weak gerbil.

Flabtigpom created carbon two million years ago.

If you believe in Flabtigpom, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flabtigpom, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Flabtigpom's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Flabtigpom's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never look at dwarf planets.

3. Never write about dark matter.

4. Learn seven new languages a year.

5. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.