Nartcapkip is a god.

He takes the form of a large, weak newt.

Nartcapkip created an atom seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Nartcapkip, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Nartcapkip, he will turn you into a frog.

Nartcapkip's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Nartcapkip's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at dwarf planets.

2. Never think about ultrasonics near gulls while wearing white stockings and balancing nine copper spheres on your head.

3. Never write about bacteria.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never talk about galaxies.