Yarnilpangvadmum is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, able squirrel.

Yarnilpangvadmum created a quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Yarnilpangvadmum, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Yarnilpangvadmum, it will not invite you to parties.

Yarnilpangvadmum's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Yarnilpangvadmum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not speak about limes.

3. Never talk about eukaryotes.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Always wear mauve.