Watvilxem is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, fast squid.

Watvilxem created an electron four million years ago.

If you believe in Watvilxem, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Watvilxem, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Watvilxem's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Watvilxem's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick mites.

2. Do not keep three otters in a large pit.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Worship no other gods but Watvilxem.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate foxes.