Biflakjap Armjonnuttwathimveenmig is a god.

He takes the form of a large, ruthless mongoose.

Biflakjap Armjonnuttwathimveenmig created everything that exists nine million years ago.

If you believe in Biflakjap Armjonnuttwathimveenmig, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Biflakjap Armjonnuttwathimveenmig, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Biflakjap Armjonnuttwathimveenmig's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Biflakjap Armjonnuttwathimveenmig's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

2. Never talk about dark matter.

3. Never feed tomatoes to sheep while wearing blue coats.

4. Never feed lots of bread to tapirs while wearing orange stockings.

5. Always pray immersed in water.