Cemtimbag is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, unthoughtful elephant.

Cemtimbag created the Milkyway two years ago.

If you believe in Cemtimbag, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cemtimbag, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Cemtimbag's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Cemtimbag's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed cherries to pigs while wearing jumpers.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never talk about gravity near manatees while wearing indigo kilts and balancing eight tin spheres on your legs.

4. Cemtimbag must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never go into brown rooms.