Bugsaksatyimloopgem is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, narcissistic cat.

Bugsaksatyimloopgem created bats seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bugsaksatyimloopgem, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bugsaksatyimloopgem, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bugsaksatyimloopgem's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Bugsaksatyimloopgem's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat cucumbers.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always obey Bugsaksatyimloopgem's priests.

4. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never think about eukaryotes.